From an early age, holding grudges is usually how you start learning about your own emotions. This is completely normal, however as an adult grudges don’t serve you. It’s important to learn how to let them go.
Holding grudges can happen as a reaction to something, like:
- If someone has hurt you (intentionally or not)
- Being jealous of someone or something
- Not being invited to an event
These grudges may be short lived, but sometimes you’ll have a grudge that stays with you for what seems like forever. These grudges are the worst kind. They eat away at you from the inside out and can have a severe effect on your health and wellbeing. It is like drinking poison and then hoping someone else will get sick. Grudges are not good for you or anyone else.
Easier to hold a grudge than forgive
Yes, usually it’s much easier to hold onto that grudge instead of working through it and starting your journey towards forgiveness. For some, it can be almost satisfying holding a grudge. They get short lived joy out of it, but what is the real cost.
What happens when you hold grudges?
When you hold a grudge for too long – it starts to have an effect on your body. Your mental and physical health may take a toll, and it can be painful. If you’re unforgiving it can even affect future relationships with partners and friends. Finding real meaningful connections with other may be difficult for you.
Mental health effects
Holding grudges can cause you to become anxious or depressed. This can mean sleeping problems, shortness of breath, feelings of panic or fear. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with fear, go to my article and learn how to manage it so it doesn’t control your life.
Physical health effects
You might think holding a grudge can’t possibly affect your physical body. Well unfortunately they can. Grudges build up stress and tension within your body which causes inflammation. It can even lead to headaches, insomnia, anger issues, high blood pressure and skin problems.
How can I forgive someone?
To forgive someone, you must be willing to commit to it. Forgiveness isn’t about accepting what the other person has done to you as being right or okay.
There are many different techniques that can bring you a sense of peace. Often separating the act from the person can be a healthy thing to do.
They are not a bad person; however, they did a bad thing.
This can often give you some peace of mind and help to see that their actions no longer have control over you. Forgiving is often more about you than them. It is about how you feel about the situation, the thing that happened.
Talking to someone who can provide support and help you work through your feelings can be a great place to start. Try joining a support group or talking to a life coach. Talking about these things with other people can help to offer you another perspective.
Are you struggling internally with a grudge?
Wanting to start those steps towards forgiveness but unsure how?
Reach out and book a discovery call with me today, and let’s have a chat.